Last week I turned THIRTY! For awhile, I feared my thirties for no particular reason other than the stigma of becoming older. However, when I take the time to reflect on what is present in my life and the new experiences I am about to gain, I feel excited and have a sense of both accomplishment and new beginnings. I experienced a lot in my twenties — many life changing and exciting experiences happened very quickly. I went from being a college student to a working adult, wife and mother in rapid succession.
A few months ago I came across an article that brought a sense of humor and wisdom to becoming 30. It was fun to read and think about my life in comparison, I found myself re-reading it many, MANY times. It was originally published in 1997 as an article in Glamour magazine, “30 Things Every Woman Should Have & Know by The Time She’s 30″ by Pamela Redmond Satran. A few months back, Glamour turned this highly popular article into a book….which I have, of course.
I decided to see how I measure up and share it with you…here goes nothing…
By 30, I Should Have…
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you how far you’ve come.
I honestly do not have one I could imagine going back to. I’ve had only a few boyfriends, but they were all pretty long-term, but honestly they were way too immature. So, yes, I have one or more that have reminded me of how far I have come. Advice ladies, go for the older guy.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Yes, when Hubs and I first moved in together he and I purchased two important necessities for a young couple living together. A couch and a bar. We still have both pieces and though we didn’t know at the time, but a leather couch is perfect for young children. It cleans up easily!
3.Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
I love my skinny black jean or dark denim with a black blazer. I can dress both up and get a variety of cute looks with them. So for a night out with my man of my dreams, this is my go-to.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Yes, yes and yes. Louis Vuitton purse, Tumi suitcase and my two favorite umbrellas from J Crew and Henri Bendel.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
Absolutely. I had a great childhood full of fond memories, but my life as an adult has really made me feel like one very lucky lady. The chance to be out in the world on my own and explore my interests and establish some independence has me happy to leave my childhood behind and enjoy my own children’s birth.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
Boy do I! Luckily, this is one thing I am still not old enough to tell just yet…
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age – and some money set aside to help fund it.
The realization is absolutely there. The funds are, well, let’s just say 30 is far from old so I’ve still got time!
8. An email address, a voice mailbox and a bank account – all of which nobody has access but you.
Though I do have my own email address and voicemail box which Hubs doesn’t access, he could if he wanted to because he knows my password. As for an account, we have shared our financials since we were engaged. I realize not everyone does the same, but that’s just how it is for us.
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Thankfully I haven’t had to refreshen my resume in a longtime. Being a stay-home-mom is exactly what I have always wanted to be. However, since I took a leave of absence from UCSB and am still on that leave… my resume has a few pending gaps.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who let’s you cry.
I am so grateful to have this one checked off. I can’t imagine my life without my closest friends. Fortunately, I have many good friends in my life, but I definitely have one who takes care of both of the above.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
When I first moved out of my parents house, my mom bought me a cute girly set of screw drivers that were printed in a floral design. It literally unscrewed into another smaller driver and you could add-on a hammer-head as well. Both functional and cute! As for a cordless drill my husband took care of that one for us and I have the black lace bra covered.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
I bought my little friend Louis Vuitton after a great run in Vegas. People have commented on the purse given to me by my Hubs and I love correcting them :-).
13. The belief that you deserve it.
I have been working on this one for a long time. I never had the best self-esteem and though I feel like I have come a long way, I have to stop and remind myself of this often and set aside feelings of guilt or insecurity.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
My skin care routine is very basic; cleanse, occasionally exfoliate and always moisturizer with SPF. I am currently looking into adding an eye care and night treatment to help prevent those pesky wrinkles! Kheil’s just open in the Manhattan Village so I will be talking to the experts there and trying out some new products.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
I do believe I have a solid start on my career; that being a wife, a mother and an entrepreneur. I have dreams of expanding Pier to Peer with Kimberly, so yes, a great start…I am very satisfied in my relationship and feel very fortunate be my hub’s wife.
By 30, You Should Know…
16. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
Check! I am incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves me for me and I have learned more and more about myself along the way.
17. How you feel about having kids.
Absolutely. I feel so fortunate to have my beautiful daughter and son. My husband and I couldn’t ask for anything more. They absolutely complete our family.
18. How to quit a job, breakup with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
I am a pretty sensitive person so I was never very good at breaking up even if I knew it was the right thing to do. Leaving a job was not easy either. When I left my parents company it was a bitter-sweet moment. I knew I was moving onto a new role in my life as a soon-to-be-mom, but also felt as if I was letting them down and walking away when they needed me.
19. When to try harder and when to walk away.
I go back an forth with this one. I have had some toxic friends in my past who I eventally realized it was better to walk away from. I did and don’t regreat it one bit – it has been liberating. However, sometimes I find that I can’t let an argument or “constructive criticism” go. I am not very good about going to bed after an argument and dealing with it the next day. It sits on me when I know I’d be better of moving on.
20. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
I don’t kiss and tell, but Hubs says I’ve got this one down!
21. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers and the best tailor in town.
Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. Great grandmother’s, I only knew one great-grandmother, her name was Helen and I used to call her “little grandma.” She passed a few weeks before meeting her great-great-grandaughter, Ella. Unfortunately I never met my mother’s grandma who lived in Peru. Sadly, I don’t know her name or any of my relatives living there. As for a tailor, I have always stuck with the good old tailors at Nordstroms. I’ve tried drycleaners only to be disapointed by new jeans ending up too short to be worn with heels. Nordy’s hasn’t done me wrong yet. I’m a former college BP girl
22. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
I never have and hope never to.
23. Where to go – be it your best friends kitchen table or a yoga mat – when your soul needs soothing.
It used to be this area of homes in the hills of Santa Barbara that overlooked the ocean. When I needed to clear my head, I would drive by myself up there and get inspired by the beautiful homes and scenery. Now, I go to the Strand for a walk with Hubs to talk to him about whatever it is on my mind or if I need to be alone, I like to go workout at Spectrum. Depending on my mood, either the elliptical machine or a yoga class will set me in the right mood. I tend to leave there feeling like I got something accomplished and feel good about myself. It’s also my time to read on the machines and to hear my own thoughts. Also, they have a spa when I really need some TLC time!
24. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
I have accepted the nature of my parents and love them for who they are, there is no changing that. I am quite proud of my legs, don’t mind my hips and haven’t accepted my belly. I am still convince that can be changed…
25. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
It took me a while to get through a few bumps in the road during my childhood, but I have learned no one’s was perfect and, as I answered with # 5 on this list, I am happy with moving forward.
26. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
I know love. I married the love of my life and love my children more than the world. So, for them I know I would do anything. For money, in all honesty, I think it depends on the figures.
27. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing very long.
Agreed on all and I could be better about flossing.
28. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
I absolutely learned this several times over in my twenties. Enough to feel like I am more conscientious about people and protective of my vulnerability.
29. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
I have always been a people pleaser and apologize for everything. Sometimes I realize I apologized when it really should have been the other way around. Sometime rather than saying “excuse me” to someone so I can pass them in a store aisle, I say “sorry.” It’s a weird thing of mine and I’ve noticed my kids say it often to people too.
30. Why they say life begins at 30.
I’ve heard thirty is the new twenty. That at thirty you are more aware of yourself and confident. So far this new decade looks promising for me and I am excited to go along for the ride!
So, goodbye twenties and hello thirties! Happy birthday to my fellow Leo’s!