I have always enjoyed (well “enjoyed” may be a strong word) let’s try saying that I have always been dedicated to exercising. I love the healthy energy it affords me and the anxious energy it helps me expel. I appreciate that it is a time for me to clear my head and a way for me to become balanced, centered and grounded. While I was distracted by reading my latest novel while stepping to nowhere on the stair machine, I otherwise found working out to be something I tolerated rather than looked forward to. While I knew that this monotonous workout routine of reading on the cardio machine would keep me looking and feeling fit, I never noticed REAL results or positive CHANGES in my body from my workouts.

I was recently turned onto Body Pump by a friend and am now completely addicted! It has not only added an element of FUN to my workouts, but it is EFFECTIVE as well!!!  For the first time ever, I can SEE changes in my body; I feel stronger and more toned than ever before. I enjoy working out, I am building muscle mass that will help keep me strong and healthy and I look forward to working out. What more can you ask for?!

What IS Body Pump?

Photo Credit: Spectrum Clubs

Body Pump, the original barbell class, was developed  by Les Mills and is a FUN 60-minute workout that challenges all your major muscle groups by using the best weight-room exercises like squats, presses, lifts and curls. Great music, awesome instructors and your choice of weights inspire you to get the results you want – fast! Body Pump is offered at all levels of fitness in a welcoming and non-competitive environment. Whether you are already in great shape or are completely new to fitness, Body Pump will prove effective for you!

Body Pump will:

• Shape and tone muscles
• Improve general fitness and well-being
• Increase bone density (important in avoiding osteoporosis)

Try Out a Body Pump Class at the Pier to Peer Body Pump Kick-Off Event!

Mark your calendars! Join us for the Pier to Peer Body Pump Kick-Off class at Spectrum Club South Bay for Pier to Peer readers, their families,  friends, neighbors and co-workers! You DO NOT need to be a Spectrum member to come to this event! EVERYONE is invited to come and try out this incredible class! Spectrum will be offering free body fat testing at the event for anyone who is interested in measuring the starting point of their new fitness regime. Parents are invited to take advantage of the Spectrum Kids Club! during the event, just be sure to call ahead to make a reservation for your child!

• When: June 8, 2012 from 10:30 am -12:00 pm
• Where: Spectrum Club South Bay, 2250 Park Place, El Segundo, 90245
• What: A FREE Body Pump Class for anyone and everyone

This photo was not meant to intimidate!

The 6-week Pier to Peer Body Pump Series!

While we would love to have you join us at the kick-off event, it is by no means a requirement to participating in the Pier to Peer Body Pump Series! One class is great, but body changes don’t happen after just one class. I know that once you try Body Pump you will fall in love with it, just as I did! Join Kristal and me in the 6-week Body Pump Series! We will be taking Body Pump classes twice a week to get our bodies ready for summer fun! At the end of the 6 weeks, we will be holding a finale event where you can have your body fat re-tested to see just how much fat you burned during the challenge!

Not A Spectrum Club Member? No Problem!

Even if you are not already a Spectrum Club member you can participate in the Pier to Peer Body Pump Series!! We have negotiated a truly incredible deal for you that you won’t be able to beat! For just $49 you can buy a 6-week, 10 visit pass to be used at ANY Spectrum Club of your choice at ANY time during the 6 weeks!! You can choose to attend more Body Pump classes, try out other classes, or work out on your own! It’s up to you!

Purchase your 6-week pass anytime between Tuesday, May 22 and Sunday, June 10, 2012 by visiting  Spectrum Club South Bay or contacting Area Sales Manager Daniel Schwab at 310.703.5412 or dschwab@spectrumclubs.com. Purchasers must have photo ID for their initial visit, may not have been a member in the past six months and must be 22 or older. The passes expire after 10 visits or July 21, whichever comes first.

Become a Spectrum Club Member!

There is no doubt in my mind that you will fall in LOVE with Spectrum Club after your first trip there! The only real question is, what will be your favorite part; the hand car wash, the delicious cafe, the full service spa, the shoe shine, the locker rooms, the basketball courts, the swimming pools, the Kids Club, the work out equipment or the incredible classes? The good news is, all good things don’t have to come to an end! Any new member who does the Pier to Peer Body Pump Challenge will be eligible to take advantage of this exclusive Pier to Peer offer:

• $0 initiation fee (normally $199)
• $0 processing fee (normally $69)
• One month FREE!! (normally $109)

This is truly an incredible deal and we are so happy to offer it to our amazing P2P readers!

Please feel free to comment if you need motivation or have questions!

For each photomontage created through the app, DASANI® will make a donation to the national non-profit organization, Keep America Beautiful in support of recycling initiatives on college campuses throughout the U.S.!

Here’s How It Works:

It couldn’t be more simpler. In less than a minute you can create your own personalized mosaic!

Fans who have ‘liked’ the DASANI® Facebook page can access the application on the Photosynthesis tab of the Facebook page.  First, fans will select a photo from either their Facebook albums or a design from DASANI®, to create into a photo-mosaic. The Photosynthesis app will ‘recycle’ all of the fan’s existing Facebook photos into a stunning mosaic that fits perfectly as a cover image on their profile. Each time a fan participates, DASANI® will donate $1 to the nationally recognized nonprofit, Keep American Beautiful, in support of their Bin Grant Program on college campuses.

In addition, the fan’s profile photo will be added to the DASANI® mosaic of supporters, which will be featured on the Photosynthesis tab.

 {Disclosure: This article is sponsored by DASANI}

Cosmetic effects of the sun on the skin may be improved by various procedures including lasers, masks and peels especially designed for darker skinned  individuals. Visit www.LASkinMD.com to learn more about options that may be available for you.

Unless you have been stranded on a desert island, I’m sure you have seen the cover of the latest TIME magazine, OR have at least heard the buzz it has generated in the media.  The article featured Pier to Peer’s fellow MomsLA blogger, Jamie Lynn (www.Imnotthebabysitter.com) and her decision to practice Attachment Parenting. I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, or in this case a magazine, but this article definitely got me thinking!

Let me make it clear that I deeply admire Jamie’s bold decision to open up so publicly about what she believes in, and about a topic sure to bring controversy. However, one of the great benefits about being a blogger is the ability to share your ideas and opinions with others.  While I know that some may not agree with me, the following reflects my opinion on the topic of Attachment Parenting and I appreciate your willingness to allow me to share my thoughts.  I hope to create a healthy and respectful discussion among those who choose to comment.

Let me start with a bit of background information; Attachment Parenting, supported by Dr. Sears and his book, The Baby Book,  is a way for parents to create a nurturing, loving and respectful relationship with their children starting from infancy. Parents co-sleep with their children and do not believe in letting babies “cry it out.” Mothers nurse until their child decides he/she is ready to self-wean. Only positive discipline is used and parents practice what they believe is the “golden rule” of parenting; parents should treat their children the way they want to be treated. By doing so their intended goal is to build a strong bond and create a safe haven for their child and a relationship built off of mutual respect. The question I have been asking myself is while Attachment Parenting creates an undeniable bond between child and parent, does it also result in a child being too dependent or unprepared for the real world?

If a child is not able to learn to self sooth and is used to living in an environment of “yes,” then what tools are they taught for handling the many adversities in life?  Will the child not have the self coping skills to handle a future break-up or a professional set back?  Will a lack of discipline or experience of disappointment result in a child who holds the expectation that everyone should cater to his or her needs? Is Attachment Parenting feeding in to parents who may feel insecure about their child not “needing” them?

Once again, to each is their own.

I have just recently begun learning about Attachment Parenting and am curious about the effects. Being a parent truly is the most difficult and rewarding job on the planet. There is no right or wrong way to parent, and of course it boils down to what works best for each family. Personally, I do not agree with the practices advocated by Attachment Parenting and have chosen to raise my children using the foundations of other parenting techniques. A few books I have enjoyed and have taken many lessons from seem to reflect opposing values of Attachment Parenting, The Price of Privilege and The Blessing of A Skinned Knee.

Wendy Mogul, Ph.D. author of the The Blessing of A Skinned Knee, is a clinical psychologist and a lecturer whom I’ve had the pleasure of listening to here in Manhattan Beach. In her book she talks about teaching respect for adults, avoiding over-scheduling and over-protection, developing independence and self-control any many other important topics.

What I have learned the most from her is that I am doing more for my child by not running and catering to their every need or cry. I do consciously think about each situation and whether they can figure out their own resolution. I’ve learned not to underestimate them, they are smart and capable. Afterall that’s what I have been working towards and will continue to by setting structure and boundaries as a parent.

The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine, Ph.D. is another one of my favorite parenting books that I highly recommend.She discusses the cultural toxins and how well intended, but misguided, parents can actually be compromising their childs healthy well-being by giving them everything without any reason to earn it. Sometimes too much can really be too much. She offers her advice and tools to help redirect the child into developing a healthy sense of self, awareness of peer pressure and to maintain the confidence to make their own right decisions.

I truly believe it is our responsibility to raise our children to be prepared for the real world, capable to one day leave the nest with independence, confidence and the competence to make their own decisions.  I agree with the goal of Attachment Parenting; to create a strong sense of  love and closeness between parent and child. However, I also believe children thrive on structure and need to be provided with a foundation to develop independence, motivation and an “I can do” attitude.   Parenting is a difficult job in and of itself, but I believe as long as there is a healthy dose of love and good intent behind any technique or philosophy, we are doing something right.

I would LOVE to open this topic of discussion up for comments and a RESPECTFUL debate!

What are your thoughts on Attachment Parenting? 

There are many philosophies on parenting.  Which philosophies, techniques and books have you found to be helpful?

More and more pregnant women are working well into their pregnancy and shouldn’t have to forfeit their sense of style and sophistication due to a growing belly. Prelegant is an online retailer catering to pregnant women in need of elegant business attire. Offering high-end European maternity brands that do not compromise quality or style, Prelegant provides women with a polished look of elegance, perfect for their everyday needs!

One of the coolest features on the Prelegant site is that they allow you to “shop by outfit” or even “shop by occasion” so you don’t deal with any of the hassles of trying to mix and match. It’s like having your own personal shopper! Check out some of their chic looks:

CHARLESTON – BLACK

A delicate and beautiful dress, perfect for cocktail parties and special occasions. This layer dress is comfortable and flattering, and the layered effect helps it to suit any body type!  It’s also perfect for breastfeeding thanks to its easy access.

Brand: Pomkin

QUIN BLUE SEQUIN DRESS

Show off a subtle sparkle with their side embellished jersey dress for an easy evening look. Metallic sequins add curve contouring style and the empire lined bust will provide a comfortable, up-lifting fit.

Brand: Seraphine

STOCKHOLM SUIT JACKET & CHICAGO TROUSER – Black

Part of their tree piece suit, this jacket can be worn open, closed with a small hook, or closed with a belt. This 3 in 1 jacket made in stretch light wool is designed to accommodate your growing bump.

Smart tailored pants work just as well in the office as out. This over the bump tailored bootcut trouser is made of a very comfortable stretch light wool. These pants are the perfect match to the Stockholm 3 in 1 jacket to make it a complete suit.

Brand: Slacks& Co

In celebration of Mothers, Here is a P2P Exclusive Discount!!

Mother’s Day Special:  25% off  Enter code P25P (Effective: Now – May 19th, 2012)

General Pier to Peer Discount: 10% off Enter code P10P (Effective: May 11, 2012 - TBD)

How the Hoarding Began

I got a taste of crafting at an early age and was hooked!  I crave the high that I get from doing creative projects. It’s so freeing — it takes me to another place where everything else fades into the background. Okay that’s pathetic, but it’s true. As a teacher, I loved using my passion for crafting in the classroom and made sure to include some creative element in nearly every assignment. As a mom, I get all amped up to spend an afternoon painting, gluing, cutting and creating with my little ones. However, the crafting does not only take place when they are participating. Ask Kristal…I get all geeked out when I get to do “grown up” crafting and make scrapbooks, decorations for parties, home decor, etc.

The hoarding factor comes into play because I struggle with throwing away things that could be incorporated into a crafting project; big rolls of paper, feathers, stickers, boxes, old frames. Whatever it is, I hoard it. You never know when that pink and purple zebra print ribbon will be the perfect addition to a project! But today I plan to not only confess my hoarding sickness, but I will turn it into “good!”

I have carefully complied a list of “must have” art supplies to have at home for your kids and my fellow kids at heart.

Must Have Art Supplies for Kids and Kids at Heart!

• A Paper Cutter

This is a grown up art supply, but one that I absolutely cannot live without. I use it for just about everything and have even been known to take it with me on vacation (oops….another confession!)

• Safety Scissors

These scissors cut well, but have a rounded tip that makes them safer for little cutters.

• Sharp Scissors

These are another “grown up” supply, but one that is completely necessary. Just try using your kids’ safety scissors and you will understand why.

• Rubber Cement

This is another grown up crafting tool. It is the absolute best for gluing paper to paper.

• Tacky Glue

Tacky glue is a great tool for gluing things like buttons, puff balls or other knick knacks onto projects. This glue works on both paper and other media such as styrofoam, plastic, fabric, etc.

• Hot Glue Gun

This is a must have amongst must haves! This is a grown up crafting tool, as it is much too hot for mini creatives, but is essential because it will glue pretty much anything! Make sure to stock up on glue sticks so you aren’t le Toule ft in a lurch mid-craft with no glue!

• Knick Knacks & Bobbles

These are things such as puff balls, rhinestones, googly eyes, buttons, sequins and beads. These little goodies can take a project from drab to fab! These little morsels of creativity should be glued on with Tacky Glue or your hot glue gun.

• Ribbons, Raffia, Yarn and Toile

You don’t need all 4 of these, but I would certainly keep some on hand for crafting. Pick ribbons, toile and yarn in different colors and thickness that are aesthetically pleasing to your eye! I love using raffia to wrap gifts!

• Tape

There are many different types of tape from which to choose. I keep scotch tape, double-sided tape and decorative tape on hand for crafting. Duct tape now comes in a wide variety of colors and patterns!

• Stapler(s)

Most of you likely have a regular stapler on hand. This is a handy tool for all sorts of crafts. If your kids like to make books, having a long-nosed stapler is helpful to make stapling the binding a cinch!

• Glitter Glue

Using our package of multi-color tubes of glitter glue is among my kids’ favorite crafting activities! The glue takes a while to dry and often makes a bit of a mess, but the kids love using it! Ya gotta love bling!

• Paper

Keeping solid and printed paper in your home will ensure that you and your kids will be able to achieve many creative aspirations! I prefer thick white drawing paper that can also be used with paints. I also enjoy using scrapbooking paper, which is sold by the piece and as a stack, in a variety of colors and patterns.

• Paint & Paint Brushes

Kids LOVE to paint! Crayola makes kids’ washable paints that are fantastic! With younger kids, I find that it is easiest to put one paint brush in each bottle of paint and have them use a different brush with each color. Older children enjoy having paints on a palate. I use plastic plates for this. Make sure to give your artists a small bowl of water and a paper towel to rinse and dry their brush when changing colors.

• Crayons & Markers

There are many types and brands of crayons and markers from which to choose. I always default to Crayola and buy their washable products. As a general rule, younger children do better with the “fat” crayons and markers. They are easier for their small hands to grip. As children grow, the “skinny” crayons and markers are best. I enjoy keeping both “fat” and “thin” options in our house because the “fat” ones are great for coloring large areas or making banners/signs and the “skinny” ones make drawing detail much more successful.

• Glue Sticks

Glue sticks make gluing much easier and less messy for little artists.

• Stickers

Stickers are so much fun to use and can be used in all types of projects!

• Do a Dot Art

These fat circular dots make fabulous poka-dots! My kids love to use these dots to decorate projects, create dot-drawings and write words. Do A Dot Art are easy to use and fun for children of all ages.

• From Trash to Treasure

Consider keeping brown paper bags, cardboard boxes, empty paper towel or toilet paper rolls in your art cabinet. These disposables make great art supplies!

• Other Tidbits

Features, shells, marbles, pipe cleaners and other tidbits can make crafting loads of fun!

 Storing and Displaying Your Masterpieces

Now that your masterpieces are complete, here are some ideas of how you can store and display them!

Since 2007 when asked if I “worked” or “stayed home” I confidently replied that I was a stay-at-home-mom. I always envisioned myself as a SAHM and fortunately, I was able make that vision a reality. What I didn’t expect is that once I became a SAHM, I kept feeling as if I wanted to experience more, and often found myself thinking about  ”what I want to be when I grow up.” I have come to find that while I am settled into and LOVING my role as a SAHM, I am continuously evolving and need to work hard to fulfill myself in other ways as well.

When I was expecting my daughter, I read as many expecting books as I could about parenting. I planned out EXACTLY what kind of parent I wanted to be. From the first moment I held her in my arms, I loved my new role as a mom. However, it wasn’t long after that I started to feel like I was totally consumed with my baby and had lost sight of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I got what I wanted; a beautiful, happy and healthy baby. Life had been good to me. But what was missing was that I didn’t have any new goals or ambitions for myself outside of parenthood. I seriously felt like I was “just a mom,” and I knew that if I wanted to be a great mom and a great me, I needed to change a few things and start to think of myself again too.

Meeting my friends from Mommy and Me class was a big deal for me, this is after all where I met Kimberly!  Having new friends at this point in my life who I could relate to and really enjoy being around was comforting and refreshing. Though we were all from different walks of life, we hit it off with having the “mommy thing” in common and then discovered a genuine friendship based on much more than that. It made such a difference to spend that new chapter of our lives figuring out how to be  mommies together while still feeling like “one of the girls.” Time passed however, some of the girls moved, and it got increasingly harder to get together with the ladies regularly. Trips to storytime, Monday Mommy Movies or walks through the Farmer’s Market didn’t always work out so smoothly. Plus, we all seemed to be starting different sleep schedules, activities and some returning to work. Things were changing and they were changing for all of us.  I wasn’t spending my time in the same routine I had finally come accustomed to and loved,  I needed to find something new that fit in with yet another change in my life.

Although I enjoyed being a SAHM, I refused to stay in and not have something new to see and do everyday. I remember thinking once my children started attending school, I would have so much time to do so many new things with my newfound free-time. However, I had absolutely no clue where to start!  I also didn’t realize how hard it is to try to cram everything into four short hours!  All I became accustomed to doing involved the kids. I quickly turned into one of those moms who rushed to run errands, clean the house and tried to make time to fit in a few things for themselves during the few short hours after dropoff.  I was exhausted and I started to feel like that’s all that I had to discuss on date nights with hubs. This is when I decided it was time I start exploring my options of finding new interests and meeting new people. I started the year off with a clear set of  goals and decided to challenge myself in different areas of my life.

Being a mother will always be a role I will continuously want to improve on, but what I needed was to also focus on ME. I started Pilates and stuck with it for a good year, until I again needed to change things ups in the exercise department.  Then I joined Spectrum Clubs and  signed up to run a half marathon as a totally new runner! I decided I didn’t want to hear myself say ”I want to learn Spanish one day” again and again, so I enrolled in the South Bay Adult Schools’s summer class and got started! I joined a book club and again met so many wonderful new people and formed new friendships. I also found a way to have some daily quiet time to myself to dive into a great book while working on the elliptical. Motherhood = multitasking.  I went along with a friend when she volunteered at Good Shepard and was inspired by her willingness to give to others in need.  I too wanted to be involved in community service, so I joined Sandpiper’s in 2010. Finally, last year, I decided I wanted to turn my passion for reading and being inspired by blogs into writing Pier to Peer!  

As I write all of this out, I realize it may come off as selfish. Truth be told, as I am still in the thick of it all, it hasn’t been so easy and battling the demons of the mommy-guilt is no simple task. Change, especially for a mom, requires support and understanding from your spouse and family. It means you have to be okay with taking time away from your family some days to work on YOU.  I used to be bothered by the perception that turning in my office job to be a SAHM for Max and Ella meant that I had it easy. I felt as if I couldn’t complain about how difficult my day was, or that I may be exhausted after loads of laundry, cooking, arranging playdates and not being able to hold a phone conversation without interruptions from the peanut gallery. While I am trying to recreate myself, I focus on trying to block out others’ perceptions from getting in the way of the life I want to create for myself. Sometimes that means blocking out perceptions from those I love as well. I manage to get by with a few simple realizations… organization is the key to happiness, excercise does the same thing for me as Xanax, girlfriends keep you grounded and sane, accept that the crock pot is a mom’s best friend,  a vanilla latte in the morning  and a glass of vino at night makes me happy, feeling supported and encouraged from my husband and the happiness of my children mean the world to me. My children will always come first, but I insist that I fit myself in there as well and not feel that I’m selfish for doing so.  I actually hope I never settle into any one given role because I like the feeling of constantly working towards something new.

Every morning I wake up and feel excited to begin my day, striving to be the woman I want to be. I still have lots to learn, to do and to enjoy in my life and I thank my babies for helping me to want to be a better person each day.

 Click HERE to learn how you can join Sandpiper’s too!

Photo Credit: Pintrest

Marriage: In the Beginning

Marriages go through different stages according to what’s going on in our life at the time.  A good marriage will go through it’s ups and downs.  The life of a marriage is hopefully long and with many stages.  The beginning of a marriage is usually the easiest and yet the most foreign.  For many people this is the first time they have to negotiate living with another person.  This is why it seems so silly that couples complain of toilet seats left up, toothpaste without the cap or squished on the counter, but these little annoyances are really a symptom of a larger issue.  That issue is we are learning to live with a completely different person who most likely has only had “roommates” until this point.

We have to learn to share space and negotiate the roles we will play in the marriage.  For instance, who is in charge of the finances, the garbage, groceries, social calendar and more.  These negotiations are usually made during the first year of marriage.  Prior to children newlyweds are also allowed to be very selfish.  They sleep in on the weekends, go out to dinner often, go to the movies and really their only care is about loving one another and enjoying this new partnership.  This is supposed to be a time of fun and ease.

Marriage: Starting A Family

Just when marriage was getting fun and couples get used to living with each others habits and nuacnes they go and ruin it by having a baby.  Don’t get me wrong, having children changed my life for the better but hell did it ruin the ability to be selfish and carefree.  ONCE YOU HAVE CHILDREN THE WORLD IS NEVER JUST ABOUT YOU AGAIN!!  Children are the most egocentric, selfish little beings who ever lived.  God love them.

What use to be fun weekend time of sleeping, going out to dinner and sometimes having too much wine and some crazy sex has now become a whole different thing.  Now you will get up at the crack of dawn because they do and spend your day: feeding them, changing diapers, putting them down for naps, getting spit up on, changing more diapers, doing loads of dishes and laundry only to then, change more diapers and clean up their mess all over again.  Plus you will do all of this on no sleep, with spit up all over your clothes caring more about a nap than sex and thinking that going to the grocery store alone is as joyful as a 5 course dinner out use to be.

Couples in long term marriages state that raising children was the most joyous thing a couple did together but was rated as the lowest time of marital happiness by 70 of people poled.  During these times although they are hard times come a lot of wonderful events.  The babies first crawl, first step, preschool, first athletic event, first love and so on.  We as parents are blessed to have a front row seat to the blossoming of a young adult.

Marriage: Empty Nesters

After you have spent the long eighteen years raising these little devils they go off to college and we are left to hopefully fall in love with our partner once again.   Now it is time to sleep in, go out to dinner, have sex (gross right) and complete the circle of what is called marriage.  Make sure along the way that you treat you partner with respect and kindness because when the children are gone they are all you have left.

Being married is no easy task.  We all have our different experiences and expectations in life, which affect our day-to-day feelings.  However, despite it’s difficulties marriage can be extremely rewarding.  Creating a healthy emotional marriage takes work.

I have spent the last 14 years studying marriage and have come up with 10 tips for creating a healthy marriage.

10 Tips for Creating a Healthy Marriage

1. Be aware of how you talk to your partner.  Speak in a kind manner and treat them like you do your friends.  Do not forget to say “please” and “thank-you” for all the things they do daily.
2. Be proactive.  Do something every single day to be nice to your partner.  Try to make them feel loved and wanted at all times.  Some examples are like leaving love notes around the house or in their car.  Buy their favorite food at the market if you do the shopping.  Give them an honest compliment.  Take them on a date.  Be creative and specific.
3. Wives ASK, DON’T NAG.  Biggest complaint among husbands is that their wives nag them.  If you want him to do something around the house listen to how you ask him to do it. Don’t Say: You never take out the trash on time.Do Say: It would make me a very happy wife if you would take the trash out on time.
4. Take care of yourself and don’t be gross.  I mean this literally.  Trim your nose hair boys.  Everyone keep your teeth white, hair groomed and colored, and try to look cute.  Another tip under this category is DO NOT go poop in front of the other person.  This is just not necessary.  Try to keep it semi-attractive and poop is not attractive, I don’t care if everyone does it.
5. Husbands….take a load off of her shoulders without being asked.  We really do find it sexy when you do the dishes, laundry and help with the kids.  It’s even better when we don’t have to ask for your help.  Wives often get overwhelmed with all the tasks we have to perform.
6. Say I’m sorry when you have done something not so nice.  We all make mistakes and sometimes it is hard to admit them but be the bigger person and apologize when you need to.
7. Accept the apology and move on.  NO POUTING.  My children pout…and it bugs me.  When my husband pouts it makes my skin crawl.  Pouting is not sexy.
8. Don’t talk bad about your spouse to a lot of people.  I say have one best friend you can vent to about marriage problems and brag to all other people about how great your spouse is.  The more you talk positive about them the more likely you are to feel positively about them in general.  My mother-in-law taught me this and she has been happily married for 47 years.
9. Make time for sex.  Once a week or once every other week is “average” for married people with children.  Wives DO IT even if you don’t feel like it.  Most likely you will enjoy at least some of it once you get started.
10. LAUGH OFTEN.  Laughter has proven to be good for the heart.  Be silly.  Have fun.  Make being married to you a pleasant experience.  Ask yourself how fun you are to live with.

{This is not a sponsored article.}

Next we tried our hand at the 35 foot rock climbing walls. It was totally awesome withseveral different courses built into each of the walls – some for beginnerslike me and some for the more advanced climbers. All of the equipment used onthe rock walls made me feel completely safe, most importantly the automaticbelay system that guides you slowly to the ground in the event you fall (orhappen to make it all the way to the top!) They also gave us plenty of time totry all of the different levels. Again…I was a little slow, but Haley scaledthe walls like a monkey! We both had super fun! We loved spending the dayoutdoors in the fresh air. For a girl like me, who is a little morecautious….it was a great confidence builder. I was so proud of myself and hada great sense of accomplishment. The experience for a girl like Haley was anall out exhilarating adventure.

I think this isa great place for teens and kids alike. Actually – parents too. I could tell my dad really wanted to join us!

 Rock Wall & Ropes Course Rates & Hours:

Rock Wall & Ropes Course

Rock Wall: Daily 11am – dusk
Ropes Course: Sat. & Sun. from 11:00am – 4:00pm

• Rock wall only – $10 ($8 with purchase of general admission)
• Ropes course only – $15 ($10 with purchase of general admission)
• Rock wall and ropes course – $20 ($15 with purchase of general admission)

Includes two hours of rock wall use, equipment rental and trained staff supervision. All climbers need to have a liability waiver signed by a parent or guardian. Reservations required at least 24 hours in advance to guarantee space. Drop-ins will be accomodated when space is available.

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{AdventurePlex treated Allie and her friend to a rope course and rock wall session to help facilitate this article. All thoughts and opinions are genuine and Pier to Peer has been enjoying AdventurePlex for years! AdventurePlex is a P2P Sponsor}

Choosing a Guardian for Minor Children

There are few things more special than the trust a child has in a parent. Trust is that intangible, but irreplaceable piece of any relationship.  When I think about trust, it brings to mind a critical component to estate planning. If you weren’t able to care for your child, who would you trust to do it?

As an estate planning attorney, I’ve learned that my clients often have the most difficult time when it comes to naming guardians for their children. Parents are wired to worry about their kid’s everyday lives: health, development, and happiness. So, worrying about something so unimaginable could be easily put off.

The discussion with your significant about choosing a guardian can further raise a whole host of complicated issues. I’ve seen firsthand how going through this process can sometimes bring up negative feelings about each other’s relatives and friends. No wonder it’s something parents often avoid. But the hard reality is that not having the conversation can create even more complications at a time when you won’t be able to advocate for you child.

The following list will help parents start a conversation in this process. As a starting point, I tell my clients to first make a list of all potential people or couples you would consider naming as your children’s guardians. Then consider the following guidelines for each potential person or couple:

• Place of residence, both geography and their home.

Is your child staying in the same school important? Will this change as they get older? Would the guardian need to move to a larger home or consider moving into your home?

• Educational and cultural background

Would the potential guardian be open to fostering a cultural identity in your child you find important? Would they place the same value on education you do?

• Religious and spiritual affiliations

If you are hoping to raise your children with a religious affiliation, will your guardian respect and encourage it? If you are not religious, will your guardian respect that?

• Primary language spoken at home

Is bilingualism a priority in your home now? Do you speak a language at home you’d like to ensure your children learn? Does your chosen guardian speak the same language at home that your children are used to?

• Whether potential guardians have their own children

It may be important to consider if the guardian has children already or plans to have them. Do your children get along? Is there an age difference that would make the situation complicated?

• Parenting philosophy and the discipline they use with their own children

Would you feel confident that the potential guardian has a parenting philosophy that would feel consistent for your children so that the transition is smooth? Are you comfortable with your understanding of how the use discipline?

• Current relationship with your children

Does your child know the guardian well? Do they get along? Even if you feel close to someone, there may be an equally suitable choice who is a better fit with your child’s personality.

• Lifestyle choices, including smoking, drinking, eating and exercising habits.

What is non-negotiable for the environment your children live in? What habits and choices do you hope are fostered? Will your nominee support and encourage them?

Be open to your partner’s choices and work together to find a person or couple who will be a good fit for your children. While it might be incredibly hard to make the choice among your family or close friends, it’s imperative that you do.  You may fear hurt feelings, but the alternative is a guardian who is not your first choice.

Remember, if you don’t do this yourself, the decision will be left to a judge, who does not know you, your preferences or your children to decide on a guardian.  Most importantly, naming guardians yourself will avoid fights between a husband and wife’s side of the family and protect your families and your children from needless friction and heartache at what may already be an impossibly hard time.

It may also make sense for you to consider a joint guardianship. This allows you to choose a primary guardian within a first couple and determine that if they divorce that your children go to that guardian or a second still-married couple also chosen by you. And yes, there is a way to prevent someone you strongly feel should not be your child’s guardian. You can make an “anti-guardian” nomination in the same document and provide specific reasons for your decision.

Want to Learn More About These and Other Important Mommy-Related Legal Topics?

Join Kristal and Kimberly to learn from Sona and her colleagues at Mom, Esq. event on May 9th from 6:00-8:00pm at Mom, Esq. Headquarters. At this event you will learn all about…

• Legal aspects of growing your family through assisted reproductive technology and adoption
• Maternity leave benefits, reinstatement rights, and employing nannies and baby nurses in your home
• How an estate plan can protect your children and family, and safeguard your assets
• Your finances and how to save for your kids education, get out of debt and invest for your own financial future
• The latest information about fertility care and technology to meet each woman’s unique medical, emotional and financial needs
• Your self-care needs and how to get more support through the process of individual, couples or group therapy

 Sona A. Tatiyants

Described by her clients as “the perfect lawyer for the job,” Sona A. Tatiyants understands the ever-changing and complex world of estate planning. As a wife and mother, Sona understands how overwhelming the world of estate planning can feel for a family. As an experienced lawyer, she knows just how important it is to have one in place. Just like no family is the same, no family’s estate plan is the same. With a deep understanding of the law and the tax-related complexities of her field, Sona works to personalize your family’s plan.

Contact

Learn more about Sona A. Tatiyants’s legal services on her website, call her at 818.956.9200 , email her at @info@tatiyantslaw.com, tweet with her @SonaTatiyants and/or follow her on Facebook!

 {This is a sponsored article.}